I give up

I give up.


I give up. Lord, there are days I feel like writing, I just give up! You tell me I have a reason for staying here on this earth, and some days you make those reasons clear to me.

Other days I truly wonderful why I can’t just leave this broken body and come home to you!

Two days ago I felt so warm, so loved, when my 18yr old son thanked me for sending him to his night job with a hot, dinner instead of him making a sandwich. I knew I was still here because my family needs the little mom touches that only I can provide for them .

But what about those days when I am laid weak and almost useless, even maybe a burden on them due to the strange uncertainties of my health issues? Is it OK to say, “I give up”? Is it OK then to wish I could give in to the weakness of my body?

I keep listening to the song from Chris Tomlin called “I Will Rise”. It is perfect! No more sorrow,  no more pain.

I don’t like to be weak. I don’t like to be a lump on the couch. I prefer to be a wife and a mom! One who is here to do the little things that only this mom can do for them because I know them so very well.

Ugh! I know I’m not alone in this. There are probably so many who feel the same way!